The Bees Knees

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Sometimes I wish I could step outside my body and watch myself because I'm pretty certain it would be entertaining.  Watching myself squat down, focus, snap some shots, then run squealing like a schoolgirl the second one of the wasps flew from the nest certainly would have brought a smile to my face.  By the way, this running is not masculine either, it's limp wristed, willy-nilly, spastic movements accompanied by the repeated blurting sound of eewwww,ewwwww,ewwwww....

This is the second wasp nest I've discovered under our backyard overhang.  The first one suffered a nuclear  blast of toxic spray, because I assumed that's what you're supposed to do with a wasp nest.  Selfishly, I figured it would serve as an excellent photographic subject.  I mean, I would wait 24 hours as instructed, reach up and snatch the hive off of the panel and then walk into the studio and shoot incredible shots of a wasp nest.   I got the ladder out, looked up, saw no signs of activity, and gently reached up towards the nest and buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....(insert schoolgirl squeal,running,toppled ladder,etc..)

In a fit of embarrassment, anger, and ego damage, I ran for the spray, shook the can, pointed it at the nest and let loose another shower of toxic white foamy stuff.  And it promptly bounced off a wooden beam, creating a nuclear cloud of mist which settled down into my eyes.  By the way, I completely missed the nest.  I ran into the house screaming, with no doubt I would be explaining to Nikki that she is now the breadwinner because I can't drive anymore due to sudden onset of geriatric glaucoma, an extremely rare disease for a 40 year old guy.  No way I was telling her the real story.

Plan B in the operation came to me as I was washing out my eyes in the sink and realizing I might not have any explaining to do.   I went into the garage and grabbed the painter's extension pole (15 feet), some tape, and  a butter knife from the kitchen.  The knife was just skinny enough to fit between the beams and extricate the nest from it's guarded spot.   This time I had nerves of steel (from 15 feet away), because no amount of buzzing was going to deter me.  After several passes of the knife the nest came falling down in pieces.

I assumed the nest would be a crispy, delightful, honeycomb that I could carry into the house to inspect and possible still photograph.  'Tisn't so.  They are full of larvae, half formed wasps (think albino), and all around slimy whitish/yellowish substances (insert....well, you know by now).

As you might guess, when I saw the second nest, I was much more prepared to handle the situation.  Like a seasoned veteran I ran inside and grabbed.....my camera.  Hell, a simple sting would surely be better than a poisonous blast to the eyes and a slimy mess to handle in the aftermath.

Boys, you are safe and secure, you'll have no problems from me.

Open Season

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I declared it open season on tourists and set out to blast them with my flash.  I had a good day, bagging at least 25.

This technique has been popular lately so I thought I would give it a try and see what I ended up with.  The premise is to shoot in a "street photography" style, but use a flash to create a different look.   The narrow size of the walkway made it difficult to disguise what I was doing, but I crouched down and tried to look as inconspicuous as possible.  I clamped the flash to beam on camera left, set the exposure where I wanted it and started firing away.  

The flash tended to draw interest from the passerby, as seen in the two photos below.  It appeared as though many thought it was a camera because they would stare at it and wave (of course I had to blast them with it if they did).   You'll notice I've cloned out the flash or cropped it out in most of the shots.

The difficulty in this whole thing was to capture people in the right spot.  Once foot the the left or right and the flash would completely miss the subject.   Some folks weren't thrilled with this "shoot" I noticed.  The guy below seemed pretty agitated judging by the look on his face, but he never said anything or gestured at me.

The officer in the background asked me what I was doing

At one point an officer came over and spoke with me to see what I was doing.  I told her I was a hobbyist and explained my reason for being there.  She declined to pose when I asked.   I was actually glad to have her come over to me because I wouldn't want a guy strapping things on the bridge without being questioned.

The guy below is my favorite shot from the day.  Everything came together in terms of composition and lighting in this shot.

 

The girl above seems to typify the All-American look and the skateboarder just seems to fit with the bridge and California lifestyle.

This style is definitely something I want to continue to play with.  It seems the key is to find an interesting composition for the overall frame in an area with lots of subjects passing by.

Proof of Alien Life

The first thing I remember about arriving in Omaha in 1995 was an incredible buzzing sound.    It wasn't as loud as the jets coming and going from the Air Force base, but the decibel level was about the same.   I asked a local resident if we were under attack and she replied, "Well, of course, you're lucky enough to experience the cyclical emergence of the cicadas this summer.  Come to find out, they burrow into the ground for anywhere from 2-13 years depending on the species and emerge as adults hungry and screaming with the intensity of a 3 year old whose lollipop has been snatched from his mouth (at least that's my theory).  Fast forward 16 years.


I must not have been visually traumatized from the cicadas in Omaha because I didn't remember what they looked like.  The picture in my head was of a grasshopper (locust), which cicadas are commonly called.   The sound, however, was ingrained in my head and I had instant oratory recall last week when I heard the sound again while I was in Ohio to shoot a wedding.  While passing the time on the porch, my friend Robert recalled stories of his childhood and picking up the shells of cicadas and how terrified he was of their remnants.  I teased him about it, and asked if he thought there might be any out in the grass.  He was sure of it and told me to go look at the base of the tree because there was no way he was going to pick one up.  I went looking around for grasshopper shells and after about 5 minutes reported that I couldn't find any.  "No", Robert said, "they look more like a beetle or something similar".   Sure enough, there was a brown husk there at the bottom and I slowly crouched down to take a closer look.

To my utter horror and fascination, I picked up the lifeless shell of an alien species, something that had been here on earth but had already left with unknown secrets to report back to its master.  Amazingly, this alien had brought thousands of his kind with him to earth, because their shells were also littered around the lawn and near the tree.   Was our government aware of this?  I thought I better make photo documentation just in case so I could prove what I had seen.

It is with great satisfaction that I present to you the first non-grainy, up close, and in-focus photo of an alien species that has been here on earth among us.


A few notes:

Check the top shot out again.  The creature has a straw coming out of its mouth, which I believe can be used for many things and which would explain the numerous accounts of anal probing that have been reported by those who have been abducted.  You can also see the split shell at the top of the body, clearly indicating the lifeform was only using this exoskeleton as protection while here, similar to what we see the astronauts wearing on a lunar landing.  Finally, I'm guessing the reason they stay underground for such long periods is because they are making a trip straight to hell to visit beelzebub himself prior to re-emerging back at the surface.  Not sure what they need from him, but clearly he put his evil design on their physical bodies.

Your thoughts....